Does passion sustain itself alone?

Does passion sustain itself alone?

I hope you missed me delivering my weekly blog. I was without my laptop mid-March and just decided it was too much to update this blog via phone (I’m still very old school). But I’m back. I'm excited about April blogs. We have a lot of good things to share. Let’s start this off talking a little more about passion in marriage. To have passion, chemistry must exist, right? Wrong.

Chemistry is magnetic. It pulls you in without effort. But what many couples eventually discover is that while chemistry is instant, presence, connection, and partnership is built over time. Partnership steadies love. This kind of steady love is lasting because it’s achieved through time spent building something special together. This kind of love includes patience with each other’s differences and most importantly, being fully present in the process. One of the things you will appreciate most about intentional presence is how passion matures as a result of it. Yes, passion.

While James and I had the natural passion that exists with good chemistry, we also experienced the deep passion that grows, lasts, and isn’t always rushed, but expected to be savored over a lifetime. A relationship full of passion is one of the greatest benefits of marriage. While sex is not the only consideration when you have a passionate relationship, your intimacy is so much better when you can guiltlessly satisfy the burn Paul talks about in I Corinthians 7.9 within covenant marriage. Real talk couples, really think about this. As your marriage becomes stronger, your love and passion become stronger as well. Imagine how great your passion is as you grow together over the years. Nothing we have sustains itself so don’t be confused about your role in the process. Every area of your marriage requires being intentional.

Reflection:

Work on a shared goal this week then pause and celebrate it together, fully present, with time, and permission to passionately show up for one another.

Also ask yourself: Are we giving your love time to grow or expecting it to sustain itself?

Prayer:

God, help us build a partnership rooted in patience and presence, where our love and passion can grow over time. Amen.

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Choosing Love Every Day (Even when the feeling fades)
James Youngs James Youngs

Choosing Love Every Day (Even when the feeling fades)

Let's continue to explore God's model of love for you to experience happy, healthy marriages that last because your foundation is strong. Feelings change and can’t be trusted as a foundation of love. But God’s design for love is based on an act of will and sacrifice, not fleeting desire. The most important element of this concept is an intentional decision to love in contrast to automatic feelings that you can't control.

James and I know how important understanding this model is for couples to create lasting relationships. We both experienced the pain of divorce. I'm not trying to minimize any marital situation that has caused anyone to consider divorce. I just want to encourage couples never to use a permanent solution to resolve a temporary problem. Couples will have conflict, difficulty, and seasons of disconnect. This is when every decision we make can strengthen our bonds of covenant despite the emotion we are temporarily experiencing. Feelings are fickle. If love depended on emotion alone, even the strongest relationships would crumble under life’s weight.

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