Remembering Love This Christmas
There are moments in marriage that don’t come with a date or a calendar reminder — moments that slip in quietly, so softly you almost miss them. But later, when you look back, you realize: This was the moment my heart understood what my vows meant.
For me, it happened early in our marriage after we decided to approach marriage differently, God's way.
James was sitting on the couch, tired from the day, yet peaceful. James is always the calm that is a steady anchor to my sometimes stormy intensity. I remember watching him for a moment, not as the friend I once confided in, and not even as the husband I was learning to navigate… but as the man God was using to teach me about love, marriage, and patience. We both were learning that marriage was something sacred. Not me and him, but us.
The edges of our individual lives were beginning to blend. No, things were not perfect, far from it, but it was evident that God was weaving us together thread by thread, breath by breath, choice by choice. I realized we were no longer two people trying to figure each other out.
Yes to God’s Design for Marriage
It’s funny how the people closest to you can see love forming before you ever recognize it. My best friend saw James’s devotion long before I did once James stayed in the ER with her, refusing to leave her alone, even though he only knew her name.
There was always something about the way James looked at me.
Something that felt good, sincere - something that felt like home. It was then I suddenly realized - maybe love had been there all along. Maybe I had just been too guarded to see it.
Love doesn’t always arrive with grand gestures. Sometimes it arrives quietly through consistency, loyalty, gentleness, and a steady presence that you didn’t realize had become essential to your life.
I believe God's design for love is similar to how he created sunrises. The sun reveals itself slowly at first, then suddenly everything is flooded with light. The sunrise is like a glimpse at greatness, followed by the fulfillment of God's promise.
When Friendship Quietly Becomes Forever
Long before I knew I loved James, I trusted him completely. I enjoyed our friendship. I enjoyed how James made me feel accepted and emotionally safe any time I was in his presence.
Looking back, I realize that love had its eyes on me long before the room turned dark on the dance floor that opened my heart to new possibilities. And maybe that’s why this part of our story still feels like a miracle to me… because sometimes the greatest gifts are wrapped in seasons we never expected.