In Sickness and In Health

James and Carletta Youngs

Some parts of our vows sound poetic on our wedding day. Because it is tradition, we recite vows before they become real. But these vows specifically, like the ones last week, are vows that life gives weight. And if I am honest, these vows are deeply personal in my own story.

Many of you that know us, know that we almost lost James. And that changed everything. But if you talk to our children, family, and close friends, they will tell you life changed for us early in our marriage when sickness changed our lives and family dynamic. Hospitalization and quietness in our home became routine as I went from specialist to specialist to find out what was happening to my body. Eventually, praise God, we learned our to manage our diagnosis to enjoy a good quality of life.

What does “In sickness and in health” mean? An example that I often share is an early memory of my marriage. As you know, music is an important element of our love story. James and I enjoyed Flashback festivals in Atlanta when they occurred annually back in the day. This particular concert, I know the Gap Band was scheduled to perform because they were one of my favorite groups (yes, I still enjoy Charlie Wilson to this very day.). But I had an episode right in the middle of the entertainment. I didn’t know what was happening because I was unconscious, but I remember clear as day that my husband picked me up to carry me across his shoulder to our car to get me out of the crowd to medical care right away. I remembered being carried.

What does “In sickness and in health” mean? To me, it means to be carried. Not only in the physical reality of my story and memory, but emotionally and all the things that goes with being a present partner through illness, disease, body aches and pains, simple or unimaginable. This part of our vows often creates perspective.The little things became little again and the unimportant things lost their grip.

Yes, life changed, way back when as well as when James’ trauma turned our world upside down. But God. I’m still managing my health. James is still here, living and doing well. Yes, there are things we lost. But what remains is gratitude. These experiences helps love to become sacred in a different way.

Yes, I still mourn some things.

But I rejoice even more because I was given another chance to walk beside the man I love. And I do not take that lightly. We live our vows daily. That is what “In sickness and in health” means to us.

Living our vows is covenant. Take some time to talk about the unexpected if this is a vow that remains a promise you haven’t been required to keep - yet (it will happen!). I encourage you to talk honestly about resilience, caregiving, support, and what faithfulness looks like when life becomes difficult. If you’ve experienced any aspect of this promise, even a common cold could make this vow seem real, take a moment to share one thing you deeply appreciated about how your spouse “carried” you and loved you through whatever you experienced.

Pray with me. Our Heavenly Father, Yahweh (Jehovah) Rapha, Thank You for sustaining love, marriages, and covenant through every season. Teach us to honor our vows with grace, patience, tenderness, and faithfulness. Help us to love one another as you love. Amen.

Love and blessings - j&c