Remembering Love This Christmas
There are moments in marriage that don’t come with a date or a calendar reminder — moments that slip in quietly, so softly you almost miss them. But later, when you look back, you realize: This was the moment my heart understood what my vows meant.
For me, it happened early in our marriage after we decided to approach marriage differently, God's way.
James was sitting on the couch, tired from the day, yet peaceful. James is always the calm that is a steady anchor to my sometimes stormy intensity. I remember watching him for a moment, not as the friend I once confided in, and not even as the husband I was learning to navigate… but as the man God was using to teach me about love, marriage, and patience. We both were learning that marriage was something sacred. Not me and him, but us.
The edges of our individual lives were beginning to blend. No, things were not perfect, far from it, but it was evident that God was weaving us together thread by thread, breath by breath, choice by choice. I realized we were no longer two people trying to figure each other out.
The Dance Floor Awakening
There are moments in life you don’t plan for; moments that sneak in quietly, tap you on the shoulder, and whisper, “Pay attention… everything is about to change.” I didn’t know a causal night out to celebrate a December birthday of a close friend would be one of them.
The room was lit with soft reds and golds: the kind of warm glow that feels like Christmas even when it isn’t. People laughed, the music played, and I remember thinking I was just there to support my friend, not to be seen… not to feel anything. I wasn’t dating. I wasn’t even interested. My heart had been placed on pause for a long while.
Then the lights dimmed and the room went dark.
And there was James.
The Power of Gratitude in Marriage
As we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, I wanted to share some simple truths I learned about the power of gratitude in marriage.
Think of gratitude like sunlight. Sunlight doesn’t force anything to grow but simply creates the environment where growth becomes possible. As you know from the last two weeks of me blogging on the topic “Love is a Choice”, choosing gratitude is one of the fastest ways to return to unity because it shifts your focus from the problem to the partnership.
One of the most powerful truths about gratitude is this: You cannot stay in a negative emotional posture while actively giving thanks. Did you know that research shows that gratitude reduces anxiety, increases emotional resilience, and improves relationship satisfaction. Couples who practice thankfulness feel safer, more valued, and more connected. Most fundamental best practices are based on foundational biblical principles. I personally think about 1 Thessalonians 5:18: In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God and Proverbs 18:21: The tongue has the power of life and death