Happy Romance Day
Real talk couples. Today is February 12, just two days away from expected, anticipated, and celebrated Valentines Day. For many, Valentines Day represents a national, even international, call for people to be intentional about connecting with love interest at all dating stages, including the beginning stage for those seeking coupling.
Are you planning something special? Are you among the many who wait for Valentine's Day to be intentional about planning a romantic evening, or better yet, just simply taking the opportunity to express your love and or affection, appreciation, and gratefulness for the special somebody in your life that you plan to acknowledge on February 14th. Let me encourage you to enjoy the national live day but to also resolve in your heart to create daily expressions of love and memories. Love is greatest when you truly share yourself, your space, and your life.
Relationships, expecially covenant relationships are about daily connections with one another to nurture your relationship to honor and glorify God. Daily connection also prepares your relationships for difficult seasons and challenges. It's like reaping and storing up your harvest to not only survive the famine, but to live without lack. Famine could be anything from health trauma, financial hardship, emotional distance, or anything that causes you to make a withdrawal to your love account (instead of the daily deposit you normallymake by being intentional to express love through connection every day of the year).
Romance Is in the Intention, Not the Size of the Gesture
Real talk, family: Romance is often misunderstood. Most of us have lived long enough to know that romance is not proven through grand gestures, extravagant gifts, elaborate trips, or perfectly planned moments. In fact, romance may not even result in fireworks. Romance is most powerfully expressed through intention.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I invite couples to remember that romance isn’t about grand gestures alone. Some of the most meaningful moments in my relationship with James were not expensive or big productions (although I enjoyed the big productions as well). They were simple. Quiet. Intentional. Through simply enjoying one another’s presence without pressure or performance we were able to create memorable experiences that were special.
Romance creates close connection in your relationship. Close connection leads to both emotional and physical intimacy. Couples who have close connection experience high relationship satisfaction. Not just on holidays, like February 14, but 24/7, throughout the year.
Romance doesn’t fade because couples stop loving. Romance and connection fades when couples stop being intentional. Romantic gestures are evident when we choose to express love in ways our spouse can feel, receive, and recognize. Not because we have to but because we want to.
Reflection for Couples:
Tonight, ask “What makes you feel most loved by me?” Then choose one intentional gesture the rest of this week that says, “I see you and heard you.”
Prayer:
God, teach us to love with intention. Help us recognize the power of small moments and meaningful gestures. Open our hearts to give love freely, thoughtfully, and consistently. Let our love reflect Your presence in our marriage.
The Gift of Acceptance: Loving Who They Are, Not Who You Want Them to Be
The Gift of Acceptance: Loving Who They Are, Not Who You Want Them to Be
There is a quiet ache many people carry into relationships. It is the hope of being loved, paired with the fear of being truly known. To be known means to be seen. And to be seen means to risk rejection which is hard for all of us, regardless of our age, gender, or status. Yet, acceptance, real acceptance, is one of the greatest gifts love can offer.
This week’s blog will focus on the gift of acceptance. Acceptance is not loving someone for who they could be, your dream version of a person, or even the potential that you see. All of those ideas may be included in your love. But true acceptance means that you love them for who they already are, not who you (are them) want to be.
Long before James and I ever became a couple, we were friends. And even then, something about talking or being around James felt safe. I could talk. Really talk. This made it easy to share everything with James. I shared my disappointments, my hurts, my fears, and yes, even the parts of myself I believed made me unworthy of love. I never had to polish my story or protect my image. James would always listen without judgment. Always.
He never filtered what I shared through a critical lens. Never tried to fix me. Never made me feel small. I believe that kind of acceptance disarms you to allow you to be vulnerable for love to grow. I think love grew between us because we created a space where walls came down naturally. We created a space where honesty was possible and uninhibited. This allowed inner healing to begin without effort or performance.