Romance Is in the Intention, Not the Size of the Gesture
James and Carletta Youngs
Real talk, family: Romance is often misunderstood. Most of us have lived long enough to know that romance is not proven through grand gestures, extravagant gifts, elaborate trips, or perfectly planned moments. In fact, romance may not even result in fireworks. Romance is most powerfully expressed through intention.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I invite couples to remember that romance isn’t about grand gestures alone. Some of the most meaningful moments in my relationship with James were not expensive or big productions (although I enjoyed the big productions as well). They were simple. Quiet. Intentional. Through simply enjoying one another’s presence without pressure or performance we were able to create memorable experiences that were special.
Romance creates close connection in your relationship. Close connection leads to both emotional and physical intimacy. Couples who have close connection experience high relationship satisfaction. Not just on holidays, like February 14, but 24/7, throughout the year.
Romance doesn’t fade because couples stop loving. Romance and connection fades when couples stop being intentional. Romantic gestures are evident when we choose to express love in ways our spouse can feel, receive, and recognize. Not because we have to but because we want to.
Reflection for Couples:
Tonight, ask “What makes you feel most loved by me?” Then choose one intentional gesture the rest of this week that says, “I see you and heard you.”
Prayer:
God, teach us to love with intention. Help us recognize the power of small moments and meaningful gestures. Open our hearts to give love freely, thoughtfully, and consistently. Let our love reflect Your presence in our marriage. Amen.
