Being Seen & Loved

James and Carletta Youngs

As I write this post, i’m struggling to be completely transparent.Truth is transparency is not easy for many of us because we live in a society where judgement is commonly swift and fierce. That is why I feel so blessed to have safety and acceptance in my relationship with James. It is also the reason why I often encourage establishing emotional, physical, and commitment safety in your personal relationships.

When James finally confessed his love for me, I was stunned. I was stunned because I had shared everything, my truths, my struggles, my pain, and even a front row seat to what I can only decribe now as a negative self image of myself. James knew everything about me. Because James never made me feel ashamed or judged when I shared, I shared all of me.

The mistakes.
The disappointments.
The broken places.

Its funny how easy I embraced love and acceptance in my friendships but had reduced my self worth or ability to be anyone's mate considerably (this is the part that I was struggling with sharing transparently today). So when James intentionally chose me as his life-long partner, I was stunned because James loved me fully knowing me.

Today, I think our relationship safety is a valued strength that I cherish. If you're fortunate enough to have it, don't take it for granted. It is worth every bit of our effort to have and sustain it.

Real talk, family.