When Love Isn’t Easy — But Still Worth It

Heart hands

It’s funny how people assume a strong marriage means an easy marriage. The truth is every healthy marriage has its share of silent nights and tearful prayers. Ours was no exception.

I’ve come to realize: marriage isn’t about being perfect together but about growing together. God uses the tension, the misunderstandings, even the moments of doubt, to refine us — to stretch us toward grace.

One fundamental best practice is to pause before responding. when your emotions are running high. Take a breath, say a short prayer, and ask God to help you listen before you speak. Listening is key. That small act can turn conflict into connection.

Marriages will have conflict. Marital satisfaction is not based on the absence of conflict, but based on the couples ability to recover from the disagreement. Making an effort to build trust, a sense of understanding, and close connection is more important to relationship satisfaction than actual resolving the problem. In fact, Dr. John Gottman found that close to 70% of problems in a marriage are perpetual and never get fully resolved. Minimizing negativity and managing de-escalation is the primary strategy of conflict resolution.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” — Lao Tzu